The Ebbtide 42/2/Hand-farts music to my ears

Hand-farts music to my ears

by Ivanhoe, Staff Writer

  In the midst of all these movies, TV series, and books the Man tries to pawn off as en­ter­tain­ment, the real en­ter­tain­ment is to be found on the world’s new­est medium. To com­mem­or­ate Google’s mulit-mil­lion-dollar ac­qui­si­tion of this in­no­va­tion, I pre­sent to you the Ebbtide’s first YouTube review.

  Jimi Hand­trix has the funk­iest hands in the world. I don’t mean they smell bad, I mean he is the only per­son I know who can squeak out “Pur­ple Haze,” “Voodoo Chile” and “Penny Lane” en­tirely by squeez­ing his hands to­gether.

  That’s right, he hand-farts his music.

  This talent should not go un­not­iced. Jimi Hendrix, who obvi­ously served as some form of in­spir­a­tion for Hand­trix, re­lied on spe­cial­ized equip­ment, a guitar, to play some of the same songs that Hand­trix can per­form with his bare hands, and with vibrato.

  That is not to say that Hand­trix is be­neath the use of equip­ment from time to time. He squeals out “The Star-Span­gled Banner” with the help of a bi­cycle pump, then uses the same pump to put out a flame in a stunt that will leave you ut­terly con­fused.

  Go to youtube.com and search “Jimi Hand­trix” to see and hear it for your­self.